Perry's last ride

Word got out quickly after a flurry of emails, facebook postings and blog posts about cyclists leading the funeral procession for Perry on Friday morning. Thanks to John Frame for initiating what started out as a discussion with Taylor that lead to that flurry. Thanks to Nikki for pushing the emails out to the group.

As I arrived for the church services on friday morning, you can imagine the sadness I was feeling. Perry is as good a friend as I have had since my return to Greenville 5 years ago. We had shared a lot of miles together in a relatively short time. Those miles started last year when I committed to ride with the Challenge to conquer cancer crew. It was early August before I met Perry and our first meeting was not even on the bike - it was at a fundraiser called "Comedy vs Cancer" put together by Bo and Nikki at Saffron's Sidewalk Cafe. He and his wife Toya had come to support Bo and Nikki's fundraising efforts.

As Bo said in his excellent memorial to Perry, "He was not the most demonstrative of men, so it took some time to get to know him, on and off the bike". As we were at a show, we had only brief opportunities to chat. He struck me as a good guy and I looked forward to riding with him.

The very next day, Perry, Jeni, Ed and I met for what turned out to be the first of MANY rides together. We rode the 60 mile route from the Simpsonville YMCA. Although Bo's comment is correct about Perry not being demonstrative, it was obvious on that very first ride that he did indeed have a competitive streak. It was also obvious that he was a lot smarter than me when it came to cycling tactics.

I learned a lot riding with Perry. That first ride began the lessons. As we approached a hill, the pace would increase and we would all begin to push. In my mind, I was stronger than the others because I would find myself out in front as we pushed through the middle of the hill. However, as we approached the top of the hill, Perry would accelerate around me to capture the hill first. This proved his strength, as well as his cycling smarts. A deep respect grew very quickly within me for him as a rider.

As the miles accumulated on that and many other rides, he would continue to suck me into these little competitions, only to overtake me at the end. I like to think I'm a pretty smart guy, but it took me a while to figure out what was happening. In fact, at the Donaldson Tuesday night rides, he would tell me not to spend so much time out front - sit back and rest for a little while. My hardheadedness would usually get the better of me and I would forget his advice at the very next ride (where he would pull another 'Perry' and hold my wheel until the very last second where he would accelerate past).

Throughout the training rides leading up to the Ride to Austin, I began to know him off the bike. His sense of humor and sly wit, the love he has for his family and friends. His dedication to excellence in everything he did. The respect I had for him as a rider quickly grew into respect for him as a man. We became real friends.

Perry and I, along with Jeni and Ed rode so many miles together, that as our departure date neared, our P3C3 captain Ron ended up putting us together as the Polka Dot team. We were all really pleased.

The trip to Austin holds a very special place in my heart. Seldom does it happen that such a large group forms with such focus and develops such lasting friendships. We had that focus and I am very proud of what we accomplished - the fund raising and spreading the message. I am very glad to have been able to share this with my Polka Dot team mates. And, with Perry's passing, it means so much more that I was able to share that with him.

Earlier this year, Perry and I met for a short ride from the YMCA - ironic that one of our last (outdoor) rides together would depart from the same location as our first ride together. I remember how great it was to see him. We chatted a lot on that ride, but we also fell right into the rhythm that we developed over those many training miles. I could always count on him to be smooth and steady in his riding. Whether we rode handlebar to handlebar, or in a small pace line, I knew exactly what to expect from him. It felt really comfortable. I told him at the end of the ride how great it was to ride with him again. I had missed it. And yes, he did pull a couple of "Perrys" on me that day as well.

With the cold winter, many of our more recent 'rides' were inside with the indomitable Jeni coaching us through a trainer session. The last time I saw Perry was during and after one of these sessions - the Thursday night before he passed. I got the news on Monday when Jeni called. I was crushed.

In hard times, family and friends come together. This amazing group of friends who I also consider family immediately reached out to each other to provide support. Tuesday was the Missing Man Peleton followed by a celebration of Perry's life at Dustin and Jessica's place. The house was packed and there was a lot of hugging. There were tears, but the overall was a very positive reflection on the man we all knew and loved. We shared stories and remembrances. Taylor was there and he shared with us as well. The love in the room far outweighed the sorrow. It was a very fitting event for a man who was always a very positive and upbeat person.

Thursday was the visitation and the line of people who came to pay respects was out the door of the church for hours. The P3C3 family was there in support with several people coming from far away to pay their respects. After, a large group of cyclists gathered at Senior Salsa's Restaurant (next to Ride-On Bicycles where we would go for dinner after the trainer sessions). Again, the show of support was incredible. We took up an entire section of the restaurant. At the head of the table, we left a chair and a beer for Perry. It was very hard as I happened to be sitting next to that empty chair.

It was during this dinner that John Frame approached me about doing something special for the funeral procession. He suggested that we ride our bikes from the church to the gravesite. We spoke to Taylor and made a quick announcement and immediately had more than a half dozen riders.

When I arrived at the church for the service, there were already more than a dozen bikes lined up along the front and side of the church. As we lingered outside the church, the number of bikes continued to grow as did the number of attendees wearing cycling kit of some kind. Perhaps fittingly, the largest number of jerseys to be seen were the Challenge to Conquer cancer jerseys. The family had come to show their support and pay their respects.

The peleton was 30+ riders strong as we made our way to the gravesite. It was a fitting tribute to our friend, brother, husband, father, fellow cyclist. I felt like Perry was riding along - one last long pull before going off the front.

A letter to my P3C3 Supporters - Thank you!

The 2009 edition of the Challenge to Conquer Cancer is finished. We completed our journey safely from Greenville, SC to Austin, Texas. It was an incredible journey that I put into two separate parts. One part was the riding, the other part was the opportunity for personal growth.
As a ride, what else can I say but we endured various challenging weather conditions while doing our best to cover as many miles as we could during our shifts. I was quite confident the Polka Dot team could cover 100 miles every time we got on the bikes (for a 6 hour shift) and I was proven correct as we managed to complete back to back century rides for our 2nd and 3rd six hour shifts (105.4 miles and 100.1 miles respectively).
Our first 6 hour shift challenged us with some difficult climbing and very cold weather. While we did not cover 100 miles during this shift, we did manage to cover 75 miles under some very difficult riding conditions. One of our team-mates was pulled from the ride at about mile 25 for borderline hypothermia. Thankfully, she was fine once she was able to get her body temperature back under control.
Excitement ensued while riding along the Natchez Trace near Jackson Mississippi. The Park Ranger pulled us over and asked "Do you have a permit?". Quite funny. He delayed our ride for a few minutes, but ended by allowing us to continue without our support vehicles riding along with us. The support vehicles leap-frogged to the next opportune vehicle pull-outs while we continued on the bike. This was our 105 mile day.
The second part of this experience was an incredible personal growth opportunity. It is thanks to the contributions of my supporters that I was able to participate in this event. Thanks to all of you who contributed because this personal growth opportunity has provided me a different perspective on life and the challenges faced by people with this horrible disease we call cancer.
An additional yet somewhat unexpected benefit also came from this grand experience. The fine group of people who participated with me have become very close friends. I have not experienced this comraderie since my Military days. We shared an incredible sense of purpose that gave us true unity in spreading the message.
That message was not all negative either. We heard many stories about and met many people who are survivors of this disease. It was also a message of Hope. Sally, our support driver, wore a pink cape for the entire journey. On the back of her cape were the words "Hero for Hope".
In some ways, we all became heroes for hope. Not just those of us out on our bikes or those participating in a direct support role, but all of you too. Those of you who contributed to this excellent cause should consider yourselves "Heroes for Hope" as well.

Thank you!

John Davidson
jd - Team Polka Dot

p.s. You can view the photos I took through this link:

p.p.s. If you did not have an opportunity to follow the C3 squad during the ride, you can read all of the squad blogs at www.ridetoaustin.com. Remember they are posted in reverse chrono order (most recent posts first). I've posted under the user name JohnD.

You can read my personal entries here
The Polka Dot Team (L to R): "Super" Sally Dunn, John Davidson, Jeni Schumacher, Perry Lyles, Ed Hernando, Dawn Williams

Challenges

Originally published on the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin blog site.

Team Polka Dot rolled into Austin last night after rocking another century to pass the baton to Team Green. We got really lucky with the weather last night. As we neared the transition with Team Awesome, we ran into a torrent. The lucky part is it lasted less than 10 miles. Team Green was not as lucky as they ended up riding through some horrendous weather for nearly half of their shift. For them it was a serious challenge to ride in those conditions.

We’ve all faced challenges throughout this journey from Greenville to Austin. All teams had a significant challenge with the cold temperatures in the beginning stages. They also had the challenge of long hours with little real sleep (more challenge for some teams than others due to the way the shifts worked out). Some teams were challenged with a climbing stage early in the ride. Most were challenged because they were also dealing with these conditions while riding in the dark.

I was talking to Ed the other day about the challenges presented by this year’s route. He was concerned that if the ride was too challenging, there might be difficulty in recruiting riders for next year. These adverse conditions, besides being difficult for the riders, could also present safety and health issues. This was perhaps his most important thought during the discussion.

During this time of year, it was inevitable that we were going to have some cooler temperatures in the mountains. Ed’s concern was the safety and security of the teams as they moved through this terrain. We were very concerned about Jeni after being pulled from the ride with borderline hypothermia (just to reiterate – she is fine now). Ed was also concerned for the well being of the entire team – we were all feeling the effects of the cold.

This discussion really got me thinking about the challenges we were facing during this journey. That Monday morning ride with the climbing and the cold weather was a significant physical and mental challenge – for me, and I think for just about anyone. I’m very proud that Team Polka Dot made it through those challenges. I think all of the P3C3 crew is proud of the way they were able to persevere through the adverse conditions presented to them during their rides.

As we rode the Natchez trace the following day (through simply incredible riding conditions I might add), I reflected further on how each person responds to a challenge. Everyone is going to respond differently to a specific challenge, and what is a challenge to one person might not be a challenge to another.

Most people in the United States voluntarily put themselves in situations in which they will be challenged. This is a luxury that we are very lucky to have. Unfortunately, there are many who find themselves challenged without having a choice in the matter. Nobody knows who will be diagnosed with cancer next. It seems too many already have been. I just found out about a co-worker who has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

When I think about the challenges we have faced on this ride, I realize they don’t compare to the challenges ahead of someone who is diagnosed with cancer. On this ride, I always had the option to get on the bus or in the van. I didn’t have to keep riding. For someone with cancer, they only have one choice and that is to fight.

On this ride there are a number of warriors, a very high number of survivors and the rest have a personal story about someone they know and love who is or has fought the battle against cancer.

What I’ve seen from this P3C3 crew these last days is each person responding to their individual challenges with strength and courage. Collectively, we have responded to the Challenge to Conquer cancer with that same courage and conviction. I’m proud to be involved with this group of excellent people.

jd – Team Polka Dot

WANTED: The Polka Dot Outlaws!

Originally published on the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin Blog site.

What a beautiful day on the Natchez Trace today. Team Polka Dot started their shift with a great transition from the Pink team who rocked the trace with a super strong ride. The weather for today’s ride was perfect and we had help from both Arthur early in the ride and Bob later in the ride.

The Natchez trace is a very beautiful road and very flat! Team Polka Dot rocked a strong pace for 88 miles before we got pulled over by a Park Ranger! It was unbelievable that the P3C3 crew traveled along the Natchez trace for our 88 miles plus the 90 miles covered by Team Pink, plus however many miles covered by Team White before getting enough attention to warrant a stop by the Park service.

The guy was a nice enough guy, but he started out a little gruff. I think part of it was because the riders thought he was pulling over the bus, so we (ok, it was really Ed) decided to keep riding. The Park Ranger had to get on his PA system to tell us to pull over. It surprised the heck out of Jeni, so she stopped while the rest of us continued to ride on. By the time the rest of us stopped, He had to yell at Jeni to “Come up here!”.

First thing he asked was if we had a permit! A permit? We don’t need no stinkin’ permit (do we?????). He was mostly concerned by the fact that we were using both a front and rear support vehicle. His concern was that we were entering a very high traffic zone and the folks headed in our direction would not be able to pass with the very high volume of traffic that would be making their evening commute along the trace.

Mr Park Ranger’s first suggestion was that we pull over and stop until the evening commute was over. Team Polka Dot would not let this happen – that is when we started asking what we could do. Of course, as riders, we were primarily concerned about keeping the wheels rolling. He explained to us that we could (against his better judgment) continue riding, but we would have to send the support vehicles forward and leapfrog with them from stop to stop. There was two pull outs nearby – one at 6 miles and one at 13 miles.

He had stopped us at about 445pm and we were scheduled to hand off to Team Awesome (aka Team Green) at 6pm. We were hoping that we would be able to get at least 110 miles in during this shift, but he put a bit of a damper on that goal. We stopped for about 15 minutes dealing with Johnny Law, so we considered the turnoff at 13 miles to be a possible transition area.

Dawn and the Hincapie Bus rolled to the 13 mile turnoff while Sally drove the van to the 6 mile turnoff. We had plenty of time left in our shift when we passed Sally, so we continued to rock on towards the 13 mile turnoff.

Traffic was definitely getting heavy – thankfully most of it in the opposite direction. This did seem to work against us a little as it did make passing us more difficult for those traveling in our direction. We picked the pace back up a little because it’s just what we do.

We pulled into the 13 mile turnoff at about 540pm. We had a choice it seemed – another 10 miles or another 5 (maybe 6) before the next good opportunity for transition. 10 miles in 20 minutes wasn’t going to happen, so we opted for the 5-6 miles. We kicked it up again and did our best to make good time to the transition area.

When we pulled in, we were obviously pleased to see Team Awesome (aka Team Green) getting suited up for their ride. Team Polka Dot rocked 105 miles along the Natchez trace today.

With the strong results from each team on the Natchez trace, plus our good showing, we made up some miles to get closer to our planned itinerary. Seeing Bo’s facebook post, it looks like Team Awesome rocked a century (plus?) as well, so that puts us right back on schedule. AWESOME!!!

Thanks to Sally and Dawn for all of their excellent Support. They are really taking care of us as we make this journey.

Team Polka Dot earns their Dots!

Originally published in the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin blog site.

Team Polka dot rode the first 6 hour shift of the Challenge to Conquer cancer today. We transitioned from the Pink Team who had done a great job in some very cold conditions. They looked relieved to be able to get into some warmth. We (as a group) are slightly behind the planned itinerary, so we actually transitioned about 14 miles outside of Dayton, Tn. This shift was our big climbing shift. Team Green had their climbs yesterday; today it was our turn to earn our Dots.

The ‘planned’ itinerary called for the transition to be in Dayton, Tn, but we’re glad it was not. As cold as it was, we needed that ‘extra’ 14 miles to just start to warm up our muscles – unfortunately, our hands, feet and faces didn’t necessarily get all that warm. We pulled through Dayton and the Bus stopped for fuel. Sally and Team Polka Dot continued up the climb. This was the first of three climbs for us today. In fact, this shift is what we have been training for when we did all of those Paris Mt repeats over the last couple of months!

As we made our first ascent, the sun was starting to rise. What an amazing site to see that orange line forming on the horizon. Unfortunately, the temperature was not rising with the sun (not yet anyway). The climb was awesome (hey, I love climbing, so no matter what, I’m going to have positive thoughts about any climb)! It was the longest of the three and we gained something on the order of 1000’. It wasn’t really over at the top of the main climb – we had some great rollers as we crossed the plateau.

The sun was up as we rode those rollers, but still, the temperature was working against us. As we started our descent, we were rewarded with incredible views of the valley below socked in with fog. Awesome. By the time I thought about getting my camera out to snap a photo, the views were obscured by trees. I think Keith may have snapped some good photos.

The descent was brutal. I actually love descending as much as I love climbing, however, this descent was just not fun. My hands became little bricks that just could not work the brakes. I pulled a gap on the rest of the crew because of it. Ed was not far behind, so we stopped before we descended into the fog. He was frozen as well and he looked like he was not happy.

Shortly, Jeni and Perry pulled up, and a few minutes later we started rolling again. I looked back to check for everyone, and Jeni was not to be seen. I asked Perry what was up and he told me she had gotten on the bus. I was worried, but knew she was in good hands with Keith, Rueben and Dawn.

We stopped just a short ways up the road at a McDonald’s to allow everyone a chance to re-gain some blood flow. Ed and Perry climbed into the van, while I paced in circles around the van. It turned into quite a long stop. I checked once on Jeni and was told she was ok, just very cold.

I was looking at our mileage on the day so far – we had covered only about 25 miles in about 2.5 hours. Then we took this quite long warming break. I was very concerned that we weren’t going to get 50 miles on the day. We had a lot of climbing left to go.

After some hot chocolate and more heater time, Perry, Ed and myself re-started our trek. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I saw that Jeni was still shaking terribly – this after more than 30 minutes in a heated environment with dry clothing and blankets – She was obviously borderline hypothermic. I am so happy she and the Medics made the choice to put her in the bus. She now was riding with Sally in our support van.

So, the remaining members of Team Polka Dot tackled the second climb of the day on their own, with Jeni ‘holla’ing encouragement through the radio to the team. I did my best to relay that encouragement to Perry and Ed.

We pushed pretty hard up this second climb. It too was something close to 1000’ elevation gain, but not as long or as much as the first climb. We stayed together throughout the climb and pulled to the side at the top of the main climb to allow the traffic to pass. We were all feeling pretty good at that point and like the first climb, this one rewarded us with several miles of rollers before making the 2nd descent. Thankfully, the temperatures were coming up and this second descent was not quite brutal – just tough and again, that is due to the cold.

A short stop at the base of the descent to allow more cars to pass and we began the third climb of the day. Authur had gotten suited up and joined us for this next part of the ride. Really cool that we have been able to share our stages with both Bob and Arthur – the mechanics from The Great Escape in Greenville.

Arthur helped in pacins us up the climb, but we were definitely slower on this climb than the last. Team Polka Dot was beginning to feel the effects of the ride. Once again, at the summit, we entered a series of rolling hills through some incredibly beautiful countryside. We set ourselves up in a paceline and started knocking out some miles.

Arthur helped out greatly by giving us some great pulls to allow the three of us some recovery time. On the radio, I could hear Sally and the Bus talking about our transition with the Green team. I was a little concerned when I heard that they were still quite a ways behind us at 1140am.

We discussed our plan of action should they not make it to the transition point on time. I chatted with Perry and Ed. Ed said ‘I’m spent’. Perry and I talked about letting Ed get on the bus while he and I continued, but Keith put his foot down; “If Ed is spent, everyone is stopping”.

Turns out we needn’t have worried. Team Green came flying by us at about 1150 to set up the transition area. They were a sight for sore …. legs? Yes, we were very happy to see them. They moved forward a few miles and we continued our ride. We met them at a local grocery store and handed off the baton.

That was our 2nd Stage experience. I really want to say Thanks to all of the other teams for doing such a great job through the night. It was rough conditions and you all showed your strength.

One other comment that I think is important. Seeing Scott’s bike on the roof of the support van really does make a big difference. I didn’t know him, but the outpouring of support for him and his family by this group of incredible people is very heartwarming. Having his daughter escort and his Father ride his bike the first few miles at the head of the P3C3 peloton was a very emotional experience.

RideStrong P3C3!!!

JD – Team Polka Dot

Let the journey begin

Originally published on the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin blog site.

Those emotions I was talking about… somehow, I was able to keep control of them as we departed from GHS Cancer Center this afternoon. I was deeply honored by many of my friends who came to see us off this afternoon. As the riders lined up with the warriors in the front, followed by the survivors and then the rest of us, I actually got a little choked up. I struggled to keep tears from forming in my eyes.

As we rode away, through the lines of friends and family who came to show their support, those emotions came on very strong. What did I say – repeated exposure is going to teach me how to understand and deal with these emotions. There is no problem there – they keep coming up.

I was very bummed that I didn’t have enough time to get a photo with one of my warriors. I only met him today for the very first time – He’s a cute little guy only 8 years old. I think he liked that his name was on both my arm warmer and our team van. He wanted to take the magnet with him. It was very touching.

I hoped to spend more time with my friends who came to see me off. I’m not even sure I was able to thank all of them. Time rushes by so quickly – both in life and in this journey on which we have embarked. Thanks to Yukie for the chocolate chip cookies, to Silvia, Elise, Steve, Hoot and Janet, Gavin, Courtney, Debbie, James, Savannah – you guys made our departure very special for me today. Sometimes I forget how many friends I really have. Thanks for reminding me.

Special Thank you to Gavin for the excellent surprise we found in the team van when we got off the bikes – you’re the man. Perry says the 2nd tuesday of February will now be considered a national holiday to Celebrate GAFranks day.

Our first shift on the bike was pretty interesting. We had to stop many times to allow traffic to pass while we traveled along Hwy 88 and we got a little turned around during our tour of the Clemson campus. As we turned on to Hwy 76, the wind seemed to kick up a little.

Thanks to Bob Kramer for riding along with Team Polka Dot today. He pulled us along at a great pace for a good number of miles.

We traveled a little over 47 miles in our first 3 hour shift. That is about what our route planners mapped out for us, so we met our goal. I thought it would have been easier to cover more miles. It’s the stops that kill our average pace. We’ll have to continue to work on that.

Tonight we are headed to Cleveland, Tn to find a hotel. Tomorrow starts the first of our 6 hour shifts. We’ll ride from 6am to noon. I think it’s going to be cold in the morning, so I’ll definitely be bundled up.

Good luck to all of the teams out there tonight – Yellow, White, Pink, and Green.

jd Team Polka Dot

The Journey

Originally published on the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin blog site.

Here we are, just hours away from our departure. Like others, my bags are packed, the bike is ready (almost – have to mount my new tires), the bills are paid, the neighbor is going to keep an eye on my cats and my house. There isn’t much left for me to do before I head over to meet everyone at the Cancer Center.

I am amazed at the journey the peeps of P3C3 have taken me on so far and I am excited and scared about where this journey is going to take me next. Already I am an emotional mess. I’m afraid of how these emotions are going to be exposed over the course of the next week. But I’m excited because this is the type of journey of which I am in need.

It is never easy to put myself outside of my comfort zone, but some things I can handle better than others. Being outside of my physical comfort zone (pick an extreme adventure sport or activity) will always surge the adrenaline, but I know how that feels. I know what to expect and I know how my body and mind will react to it.

It’s the emotional comfort zone I have never really ventured far beyond.

I don’t know what compassion is really supposed to feel like. I don’t know the real meaning of pain or suffering. I thought pain was humping a rucksack through the mountains or swamps (or both) for days and nights on end.

I think I’m starting to get it. Talking with a survivor the other day I could see the pain and suffering in her eyes as she described to me what she went through during her diagnosis and treatment. There were emotions rushing around in me that I’m not completely familiar with. I was uncomfortable with these emotions, but I tried to grasp what effect they were having on my mind and body.

This is how I’m going to learn about these emotions – the same way I learned to deal with the physical and emotional sensations that had once lain beyond my physical comfort zone: Repeated exposure.

This terrifies me.

Follow the P3C3 team on their ride to Austin!

This is my last post on my personal blog until I return from the Challenge to Conquer cancer. I'll be leaving on Sunday at 3pm for this incredible adventure. Please follow the P3C3 squad on the squad blog site www.ridetoaustin.com.
thanks
jd

Are we ready?

Originally published on the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin blog site.

Today was a pretty fun day. I took the day off from work to help with the van shuttle. Seven of us went down to Atlanta to pick up the vans this morning and many people showed up to help out with final prep of the vans.
It was a long day, but very fun. I was able to get to know my fellow riders and support people a little better on the ride down.

The excitement in the air was thick as we got the vans ready for departure. Stickers on the vans to identify team names, magnets in remembrance of those who are gone from us and of those who are survivors and installation of roof racks.

Putting the magnets on the vans really brought home the reason why we are doing this thing. Seeing the names of those people who are remembered by their loved ones was really incredible. I brought home some magnets so I can remember those people for whom I ride as well. I’ll post them on the Team Polka Dot van on Sunday.
Everyone was a little wired because of the taper, but the energy was just incredible. This is going to be a great adventure, and yes, we are ready.

jd – team polka dot

I think I'm in denial...

Originally posted on the Palmetto Peloton Project's Ride to Austin blog site.

I have spent many years avoiding serious emotional expression. I have insulated myself against almost anything. Almost any event that happens, I have found a way to shield myself from the real emotional effects of it. Nothing really gets to me….at least until I got involved with the Challenge to Conquer cancer.

When I began, it was another grand adventure – with a pretty serious commitment to raise some money for this cause. As I sit here tonight, just 5 days before we make our departure, it has become something else.

I don’t have anyone who is very close to me that has experienced the horrible effects of cancer or treatments related to cancer. I sit in my little insulated world without any real clue how difficult it is for those engaged in the battle and the loved ones of those engaged.

What has changed? Obviously, this experience has directly exposed me to people who are survivors, to people who are currently battling and to those who have lost a loved one.

Still, I find myself avoiding the real emotional expression of what I am seeing around me. In the last several weeks, a number of emails have circulated amongst the P3C3 crew about warriors who have fought their final battle and of others who have been called to fight again.

I’m afraid of the emotions associated with this news.

I want to believe that everyone in the world has it as good as I do. I want to believe that cancer doesn’t really affect as many people as it really does. I want to believe that people don’t really suffer through their battles…

Obviously, I’m still not coming face to face with reality. I am still in the denial phase of my relationship with cancer. I’m still afraid of the reality of it.

I only hope I am as strong as our Warriors when it comes time for me to face the reality.

jd – team polka dot

The generosity is quite humbling

A little over a week ago, I signed up to help raise money for cancer research and survivorship programs. Funds generated will benefit the Greenville Hospital Systems Oncology Research Institute and the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I signed up to participate in the Palmetto Peloton Project's Challenge to Conquer Cancer.

This is a team relay ride from Greenville, SC to Austin, Tx that will include 5 teams of 4 to 8 riders each. Interestingly enough, the teams are not numbered this year, but color coded. I am told that the color coding for the first two teams listed is not correct - What is currently the Green team is supposed to be the Polka-dot team (and vice-versa). Personally, it doesn't matter what color my team is, only that I get an opportunity to participate.

I've met a fair number of the P3C3 riders over the last two weekends. What a great bunch of people. They have immediately taken me in and treated me like family. Both weekends we have met for group rides of about 60 miles each day. Except of course the one day Ron and Jeni talked me into doing repeats of Altamont road from the Furman side. That day I only did about 40 miles. But, we did 3 repeats of Paris mountain. Quite a fun little workout.

I'm very excited about this experience. As I said in my first blog on this subject, I was just not getting excited about a 2 week biking and camping vacation out west, so I went looking for something a bit more meaningful to do with my vacation. I have found it, and I am truly excited.

Part of this experience actually forces me to step outside my personal comfort zone. I have committed to raise $5000 for the 501c3 corporation known as the Palmetto Peloton Project. This is not something I've been trained to do. In fact, I can't say that I've ever really done anything significant to raise money. However, if you know me, I think you'll recognize me in that statement. (for example, I had never ridden a bicycle more than 68 miles when I decided that my first century - 100 mile ride - would be the Assault on Mt. Mitchell).

There's a big difference between riding 102 miles (with 11,000 ft of climbing) and raising $5000. Primarily, riding up a mountain is truly all about me. I decide on whether I can do it or not. The actions I take directly affect my performance in that particular endeavor. When I made that decision to purchase an entry for the Assault, I had no doubt whatsoever that I would finish the ride. None, not one ounce of doubt ever entered my mind once I made that decision. I would be riding across the finish line at the top of Mt. Mitchell or I would be carried away by an ambulance. There really was no doubt.

Contrast that with raising $5000. Obviously, I have to play an active part, but it really is up to other people to donate (under my name please - John Davidson) their hard earned (and precious in the current economic environment) money. The active part I play is raising awareness of the Palmetto Peloton Project and talking about the good things that are done by this organization. Letting people know that the funds are used both locally and nationally and that we will traverse the southern US to spread the word about the cause.

Over the last 8 days or so, eight people have combined to donate a total of $510. This is incredible generosity from my friends and co-workers. I try not to be a hard sell - asking only that they contribute what they can - any amount is awesome. All of them have really stepped up. Some of them are survivors themselves, others have lost loved ones. Others simply see it as a good cause that is worth supporting. To all of them, I would like to express my sincere gratitude. They are making a difference.

Thank you.

It's not about me this time.

Yesterday was a big day for me. I made a commitment to the Palmetto Peloton Project's Challenge to Conquer Cancer team to raise $5000 (before mid- October!!!) to benefit the Lance Armstrong Foundation and the Oncology Department of the Greenville Hospital System. I almost didn't do it, but when I arrived to meet up with the riders on the Challenge to Conquer Cancer team, I let it slip that I was considering joining them.

As Jeni said "it was like ants swarming to a dropped morsel at a picnic!" I was immediately inundated with encouragement from the rest of the team members. I expressed my concern about the requirement to raise the money. They convinced me it is not as difficult as I think. OK then I'm in. now, let's ride!

One question I have been thinking about was actually posed by Jeni after yesterday's ride. She asked me what my link to cancer is? Honestly, It's hard for me to say I have a direct link to someone who is suffering the effects of cancer - or the effects of the treatment. So, why then, do I want to participate in this event?

In order to make some sense of my answer, it is necessary that this next part is all about me - and what I'm learning as I get older. I need to step back a few years to really tell my own story (which has nothing to do with cancer), but bear with me, I'll get to the point eventually.

At the tender age of 18, I had a life changing experience. I joined the US Army and became a triple volunteer. That means I volunteered for the Army, I volunteered for Parachute duty, and I volunteered for one of the more difficult training programs the army has to offer - I volunteered to join a Ranger unit. I could ramble on for a while about this subject, but suffice it to say - my high school friends never looked at me the same after that four years I spent with the 2nd Ranger Battalion. I truly did become a different person during that experience - the boy who left Clovis, New Mexico was completely different (in mostly good ways) than the man who returned.

After my honorable discharge, I set off on a series of grand adventures. The first being a motorcycle trip from the Pacific Northwest, down the Pacific coast to L.A, across through Arizona, New Mexico (where the man made his return to the sleepy town of Clovis), Texas and all the way east to Florida. I flew up to the Northeast for a few weeks before returning to Florida and jumping on my motorcycle for the ride back to Clovis. All this on a 1986 Suzuki GSXR750 - not exactly a touring bike!

The next grand adventure had me lacing up my hiking boots to join two of my Ranger buddies for a little hike from Mexico to Canada along the Pacific Crest Trail. This was a fantastic experience of which I still have fond remembrances. Now and then, I'll pull out one of the journals I wrote back then to see what I was thinking - sometimes it cracks me up, sometimes it makes me miss our excellent adventure.

A few years down the road, I loaded up my Yamaha FJ1200 for a little ride from Los Angeles to the last frontier. No, the FJ is not a space ship, it's a motorcycle and the last frontier is Alaska, not space! I spent the entire summer of 1993 working the fishing industry and travelling around Alaska on my motorcycle. What an excellent time I had. The ride home took me through some of the most beautiful country I have seen.

There have been many (many) smaller adventures in between, but the grand adventures were slowed down when I actually became a member of Corporate America. I say slowed down, because for each week of Vacation, I debarked for another smaller adventure. Hiking a section of the Appalachain Trail, rock crawling with my Jeep in SE Utah, Whitewater kayaking, mountain biking, rock climbing - lots of those smaller adventures over the years. Every one of those adventures, regardless of it's relative 'grand' - ness, was all about me. What do I want to do, what is going to make me happy?.

This year, I had planned to take two weeks in September for another adventure. I was going to load my mountain bike, my road bike, biking and camping gear into my little car and head west. I wanted to hit the great mountain biking destinations I missed while living in Utah (doh!) - Moab, Fruita - even a little place called Gallup, New Mexico. I wanted to challenge myself on some epic road climbs in the Rockies. All in all, it was intended to give me a chance to unwind and have some real relaxation.

A strange thing has occurred as the departure date approaches. You would think my excitement level would be increasing right about now - but it hasn't. I've done some soul searching to understand what is happening, and here's what I think. Part of me has really enjoyed the camaraderie of the Tuesday night rides at Donaldson and the numerous group rides I have done this year. The enjoyment of sharing the experience with others makes these experiences that much more satisfying. My trip out west was to be solo. Sure I'd find people to ride with out there - but would it really be that satisfying? It sounds like just one more 'grand' adventure that would be all about me and satisfying myself. Why don't I feel any of that satisfaction simply in the planning of it?

So, I spent a little more time thinking about it. I mean, what's not to like - a custom made vacation where I'm the star? Who doesn't like having an experience that is 'all about me'? Well, perhaps I'm getting old, or maybe 'mature' is a better word. Satisfying myself in these vacations shouldn't make me feel guilty, but I need to find some balance. I need to give something back as I have been very fortunate to live the life I've had. Maybe in the giving back, I'll find that satisfaction that seems to be missing from my 'all about me' adventures lately.

I've met people and read stories about people who have challenges that I fear would knock me down. They tackle those challenges head on - they may not be the fastest or strongest - but damn, they are out there and they are kicking ass and taking names. I have an immense amount of respect for these people. It might be an amputee who rides a bike (strongly I should add), or it might be an 8 year old kid with a brain tumor (thankfully benign) whose Mom tells me "He's such a tough kid".

As strong as these people are, perhaps what makes them strongest is their knowledge that although they will fight the good fight, they can't do it alone. That's where the Palmetto Peloton Project (and many organizations like it) come in. The Palmetto Peloton Project's mission is "to promote the advancement of cancer research and advocacy efforts locally, regionally and nationally through fund-raising fitness events." (quoted from the P3 website)

The fund raising fitness event for which I have volunteered this year is a team relay from Greenville, SC to Austin, Tx. The ride is not for me or about me. The ride is to raise awareness of the devastation caused by cancer - to communities, to families, to individuals. The funds I have pledged to raise will benefit cancer research and survivorship programs locally and nationally.

If you're reading this, you probably know me, but it's a public blog, so maybe you don't. Please help me raise these funds to aid those who show such strength in the face of such challenges. You can donate under my name (John Davidson) at the donation page for the Palmetto Peloton Project.

Please don't think you have to donate big money to make a difference. I ask only that you donate what you can spare in this very difficult economy. $1, $5, $10 - yes, these amounts can make a difference. Just think, if every one of my family, friends co-workers and acquaintances donated just $5 to this cause, I feel very confident our combined contribution would blow my goal out of the water.

Thank you.